When you drive a Tesla, just about everything else on road is a piece of crap

In trying to keep my 2015 Tesla Model S ding free, I usually park far away from the entrance of stores, as I did when I shopped a one-day sale on wine at Whole Foods Market in Paramus, N.J., above.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

On the way into Whole Foods Market the other day, I saw one of those enormous GMC Yukons that seemed to be wedged in between two other vehicles in the parking lot.

I wondered whether the overweight, middle-aged white guy behind the wheel of the gas guzzler could open the driver's door without dinging the far smaller vehicle next to him.

After I bought a zero-emissions Tesla Model S in April and started enjoying all of its great features -- including its exclusivity -- I started thinking of just about everything else on the road as so many pieces of crap.

What else can you say about gasoline- and diesel-powered cars that use antiquated technology to fill the air with fumes that are slowly killing people and noise that hounds them to their deaths?

I still have a lot of affection for the pioneering Toyota Prius, the gas-electric hybrid I drove from 2004-15 (I owned four, one of which we still have).

And I smile when I see a Nissan Leaf, BMW i3 or other all-electric vehicle. I've actually seen one Mercedes-Benz B Class with a Tesla drivetrain.

But I'm so disappointed the other German companies won't have any purely electric cars for another five years or more.

How arrogant.

Most of the controls and switches in the Tesla Model S are accessible on a large touch screen, which links the driver to the Internet.  And so is the owner's manual. Unlike a Mercedes-Benz I drove recently, you cannot turn off Tesla's back-up camera, but you can turn it on while driving, especially useful when you are changing lanes.

Too much noise

All of those shiny new Mercedes-Benzes, Audis, BMWs and Volkswagens, especially the performance models with loud mufflers, are so annoying.

And some of the biggest, priciest and most piggish Mercedes-Benzes earn poor marks from Consumer Reports when it comes to reliability.

Another thing that drives me crazy are all those TV commercials that show cars moving at insane speeds on race tracks or across desserts.

Did you see the Infiniti commercial showing a woman backing up the 400-horsepower, bus-like Q80 SUV over deep mountain snow?

Too bad it didn't go over the edge, and take the model behind the wheel with it.

I recently drove a Mercedes sedan, the $40,000 C300, and was shocked by the harsh ride and complexity of interior controls:

Levers, wheels, toggle switches and more, and a back-up camera that can be turned off! 

When I pulled the owner's manual out of the glove box, I learned that I would have to refer to a second manual to find out how to turn on the camera.

Near-silent running

You just can't beat a Tesla for its incredible speed from a standstill with no fuss, muss or noise. The Model S seems to just leap ahead.

Forget about the 0-60 mph time, which the automotive media obsess over.

In the suburban driving I do in northern New Jersey, 0-25 mph, 0-35 mph and 0-40 mph rule the road, and the Model S outperforms nearly everything else.

Is it my imagination that many other drivers want to race the Model S or just annoy me by tailgating?

I took advantage of a free-coffee promotion at a new Wawa in Hackensack, N.J.

Property taxes continue to climb for homeowners in Hackensack, where residents are saddled with three large tax-exempt entities, including Hackensack University Medical Center.

Boring Buick

On Tuesday, Tony DiSalle, U.S. vice president of Buick and GMC marketing, was scheduled to speak to members of the International Motor Press Association in midtown Manhattan.

I'm a member, but I skipped the program, which included free cocktails and a sumptuous buffet lunch, because what could DiSalle possibly say about the most boring car line in America?

Your father's Buick (a 1959 Electra 225 Riviera) was a knockout by the standards of the 1950s, but probably got 10 mpg and fell apart in a frontal crash, impaling the driver on the rigid steering column. 

'The charging regime'

I was struck by the accuracy of statements from Jeff Knight of the CAP Black Book in the United Kingdom on the lifestyle of a Tesla Model S owner.

As reported by EV Obsession and Gas2 blogs, Knight said:

"Many Tesla owners alter their lifestyle to fit the charging regime, because they are that passionate about the benefits of their vehicle.

"People clearly love this vehicle, which means it holds its value. 

"For anyone looking to buy an executive car with green credentials, but can handle the charging regime, a Tesla is one of the smartest investments in today's market."

Amen.

Consumer Reports editors discount Tesla's potential for slowing climate change

Tesla's Model S is a large, premium all-electric car, but it is dwarfed by some of the behemoths produced by General Motors and other U.S. automakers, such as this gas-guzzling Buick Roadmaster from the 1990s.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

The editors of the Consumer Reports have been knocking themselves out in recent years, urging food shoppers to buy chicken raised without harmful antibiotics.

Consumers Union, the magazine's advocacy arm, has even tried to shame Trader Joe's into banishing from its shelves any meat or poultry raised on the growth promotant.

But on other important global issues, such as climate change, and air and noise pollution, the editors of Consumers Reports have failed us completely.

That's the only conclusion consumers can draw from the magazine's unexpected decision this week to drop its recommendation of the zero-emissions Tesla Model S.

Consumer Reports surveyed 1,400 Model S owners -- perhaps 1 in 10 -- who listed "a range of problems" involving "its drivetrain, power and charging equipment, body and sunroof squeaks, rattles and leaks," The New York Times reported.

I've owned a 2015 Model S 60 for more than 6 months, and have experienced none of those problems.

I didn't order a sunroof after hardly using the one in my 2010 Toyota Prius.

The Tesla logo.

Clearing the air

Responding to the survey -- "Tesla's reliability doesn't match its high performance" -- company CEO Elon Musk said "a lot of early production cars" were included, and problems have already been addressed "in new cars."

Musk also noted the magazine has said 97% of owners would buy another Tesla -- the highest satisfaction rating of any car it has ever tested.

Still, the bigger omission is that Consumer Reports still evaluates cars on the basis of their performance, and doesn't give them an environmental rating -- this more than 15 years after the first gas-electric hybrid was brought to the United States.

Reliability problems experienced by a minority of owners are one thing:

What about the potential of a growing number of Teslas and other all-electric cars to slow climate change?

Air and noise pollution also will be eased as more Americans buy EVs.

The fixation of the automotive media, including Consumer Reports, on 0-60 times is ill-suited at a time when many drivers spend a good deal of their day in horrendous traffic, choking on fumes from other vehicles.

The charging port on a Tesla Model S.

If you think a Tesla is 'expensive,' check out bloated MSRPs of luxury competitors

The MSRP of the all-electric Tesla Model S ranges from $69,900 to $104,500. Some competing luxury models from major automakers cost far more.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

Consumer Reports gave the Tesla Model S its highest rating -- 99 out of 100 -- and a survey showed a higher percentage of owners say they would buy the all-electric luxury car again.

But writers and blogger never fail to point out a Tesla Model S is "expensive."

The MSRP of a Model S ranges from $69,900 for the 60, which has a range of 208 miles on a full charge, to $104,500 for the P85D, an all-wheel-drive performance model that may be the fastest production car in the world.

Is 208 miles enough? How many of you can drive that far without stopping to go to the bathroom?

Lexus and Mercedes

Compare that to the $120,440 Lexus is asking for its LS 600h L, a gas-electric hybrid with a long wheelbase and roomier back seat.

The Mercedes-Benz S-Class luxury sedans range from $94,400 for a V-8 powered S550 to an astronomical $222,000 for the S65 AMG model.

The "handcrafted" twin-turbo V-12 gasoline engine in the S65 propels it from 0-60 in 4.2 seconds -- a full second slower than the Tesla Model S P85D.

With the purchase of a Tesla Model S, you also get a $7,500 federal green-car tax credit not available to buyers of conventional luxury models.

And the Tesla is a zero-emission vehicle, a good thing in view of climate change.