Automakers who can't compete with Tesla hone the art of blowing smoke at buyers

The BMW i8 has been called "jaw dropping," but if you're a woman, don't try getting in or out of the plug-in hybrid in a skirt. MSRP starts at $147,700.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

The Olympics in Rio continue and so do all of those idiotic car ads.

As BMW struggles to build a car that can match the speed or 200-mile-plus range of a Tesla Model S, the German automaker tries to deceive consumers into settling for second-best gas-electric hybrids.

The i8 with "scissor doors" is the most advanced BMW ever built, the company's TV ad boasts.

Of course, it's also one of the noisiest. 

A car that uses gasoline isn't advanced at all. You'll still be poisoning the environment with almost every mile you drive.

You also can buy gas-electric hybrid sedans and SUVs from BMW. Big deal.

You want fancy-schmancy doors? Tesla's Model X has them and zero emissions, too. BMW, Audi, Mercedes and Porsche can't say that.

Tesla lowers prices

Meanwhile, Tesla now offers the purely electric Model S with a range of 210 miles from a 60kWh battery, starting at $66,000, a lower price than before.

The Model X SUV, which has falcon rear doors, starts at $74,000 with the 60kWh battery, a range of 200 miles and all-wheel drive.

You can buy his and her Teslas for the price of a single BMW i8.

And if you buy a Tesla, charging your car on the road is free for life, something no other automaker offers.

Dilemma facing world's big automakers: How to make old technology seem fresh

The wildly overpriced BMW i8, a plug-in hybrid that uses gasoline, was one of the most popular cars on Tuesday at the annual Spring Brake in Bear Mountain State Park, below. Despite the word "brake" in the event title, some members of the International Motor Press Association received speeding tickets from uniformed park police in marked vehicles.

Audi and Porsche were among the automakers that were conspicuously absent. About 20 others -- from Acura to Volkswagen -- did provide vehicles for the ride-and-drive event on twisting two-lane park roads and nearby highways.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

Aren't you sick of watching all those stupid car commercials on TV every night?

New cars being driven at insane speeds on empty roads or within inches of a male model shouting to be heard over the roar of passing vehicles are experiences so far removed from the challenge of owning a car in the congested metropolitan area.

Did you see the idiotic one showing a Lexus cutting off competing Mercedes-Benz and BMW models in the dessert as it traces the logo of Toyota's luxury brand? 

I saw that commercial again on Tuesday night after returning from an event for auto writers at Bear Mountain State Park, where I got a chance to drive the 2015 Lexus RC-F Coupe, which has a sticker price of $77,720.

It's fast, of course, with a 467-horsepower V-8 that gets only 16 mpg city, and growls through loud performance mufflers.

Lexus v. Tesla

The Lexus costs almost as much as the car I drove to Bear Mountain, my 2015 Tesla Model S, an all-electric luxury hatchback that is an oasis of calm in our noisy world.

But -- like all but one of the cars I tried out -- the Lexus coupe is basically 19th century internal-combustion engine technology disguised as something fresh and new.

Just another dinosaur dressed in couture to join the herd of smelly, noisy cars and SUVs that are destroying the environment and our health.

That Lexus coupe has the same 16 mpg and 25 mpg city/highway fuel-economy rating as the 2015 Dodge Charger R/T Road & Track, which has a V-8 Hemi engine and a sticker of just under $44,000.

Another thirsty car was the big Mercedes-Benz S63 AMG Coupe, powered by a 5.5-liter V-8 with 577 horsepower, described on the company Web site as a "beast that is truly a thing of beauty."

Only one EV

Only Nissan brought an all-electric car, the best-selling Leaf, a quiet, zero-emission wonder that clashed with the Japanese carmaker's gas-guzzling SUVs at the event, including a new Murano and the hulking Infiniti Q80, which is about the size of a minibus.

And there was a long wait to drive Nissan's fearsome GT-R, a four-wheel-drive coupe with an MSRP of $103,000-plus.

So far, at two events for auto writers, I have yet to see Mercedes' green cars -- the all-electric B-Class, which starts at $41,450, or the German automaker's S550 Plug-In Hybrid Sedan, which has an MSRP of $94,400.

'Rock concert' mufflers

You should have heard the mufflers on the BMW M4 Convertible I drove over two-lane roads and on the Palisades Interstate Parkway.

Another participant said the old M4's mufflers sounded like a "symphony," but the new ones are definitely a "rock concert."

Just what we need: A sophisticated, four-wheel version of all those noisy Harley-Davidson motorcycles that disturb us day and night.

American-made performance cars, such as this Chevrolet Corvette, seem cheaply made and unsophisticated when compared to similar European and Japanese models. 

Crude Mustang GT

My second car was a 1966 Mustang GT with a small V-8 engine, a 4-speed manual transmission and what Ford called a fastback, with fold-down rear seats and a pass-through hatch to the small trunk.

It was red, and I kept it for 13 years, even though a rear fender rusted through and I had to replace the water pump several times.

On Tuesday, I drove the boxy 2015 Ford GT Convertible, which seemed heavy and slow compared to competitive cars.

It also seemed cheap: The driver's seat could be adjusted electrically, but you had to use a manual lever to move the seat back.

On two-lane park roads, the performance seemed anemic, compared to all the noise it was making, reminding me of the automaker's stock.

I guess I shouldn't have expected much from the 2015 Mustang after a Ford-provided "breakfast" of coffee, tea, muffins and pastries.

No juice, yogurt or eggs were available.

Not even cat and mouse

New York State Park Police were assigned to the IMPA event, as they have been for the five years it has been held at Bear Mountain.

On Tuesday, there were usually two marked cruisers and uniformed officers in the parking lot that held the new cars, and others deployed on park roads.

This morning, police would not say how many speeding tickets were issued to IMPA members and other park goers on Tuesday.

But at least one auto writer was observed driving a performance car at more than 100 mph on a two-lane park road.

World's automakers unveil their latest ideas for hastening climate change

Instead of showing a production model of the next-generation Prius hybrid, Toyota unveiled the Mirai fuel-cell sedan at the New York International Auto Show press preview today. Only 3,000 will be available in the U.S. from the last quarter of this year through 2017, a spokeswoman said.

The interior and exterior of the Mirai are underwhelming -- too reminiscent of the Camry. The electric-drive sedan will have a range of 300 miles on a fill-up of hydrogen.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

Only a small fraction of the hundreds of vehicles on display at the New York International Auto Show in Manhattan can be considered environmentally friendly.

At today's press preview in the Javits Center, I saw a handful of purely electric cars, maybe a dozen gas-electric hybrids and Toyota's hydrogen fuel-cell vehicle, which is going on sale later this year in very limited numbers.

After all, the show is produced by the Greater New York Automobile Dealers Association, not the Environmental Protection Agency.

At the opening press breakfast this morning, dealer association President Mark Schienberg emphasized that performance is the leading factor driving new-car sales -- followed by technology and fuel efficiency.

In other words, don't look for a great many new products later this year and in 2016 that are aimed at slowing climate change.

The show opens to the public on Friday.

The Toyota Mirai's electric motor (rated at 153 horsepower), fuel cells and hydrogen tank, front to rear. The midsize, four-passenger Mirai will have an MSRP of $57,500.

The Ford Focus Electric.

Volkswagen's all-electric e-Golf.

Mitsubishi's all-electric, hard-to-pronounce i-MiEV.

The low-slung BMW i8 plug-in hybrid sports car has an MSRP of $137,450, but that doesn't include treatments from a chiropractor.

The new Ford GT, reminiscent of the race car that won Le Mans from 1966 to 1969, is going on sale next year.

Mazda's new MX-5 Miata.

Lincoln unveiled a limousine-like Continental Concept, which is expected to be produced for the 2017 model year. The announcer said the car will have soft-closing doors, which reminded be of the Toto toilet seat.

Automobile writers packed one of the first press conferences of the day, for the 2016 Chevrolet Malibu, which is being billed as finally competitive with the Toyota Camry and Honda Accord in the scrappy midsize-sedan segment. A gas-electric hybrid version also will be available.

Platters of fruit and cheese were typical of the fare offered to members of the automotive media at the 115th edition of the New York International Auto Show. Subaru gave out box lunches with vegetable or turkey wraps. Espresso bars were common, but Porsche restricted its lounge to invitees holding a black card. In general, the automakers seem to be cutting back on food service compared to last year's press preview.

Besides Tesla owners, who else would definitely buy their current car again?

The highest percentage of drivers who would definitely buy their car again own the all-electric Tesla Model S, according to Consumer Reports annual Owner Satisfaction Survey.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

Consumer Reports lists 22 hybrid or electric cars in its annual Owner Satisfaction Survey.

When asked, "Would you buy your car again," 98 percent of Tesla Model S owners delivered an emphatic "yes."

The next highest percentage are owners of the Chevrolet Volt, a plug-in hybrid, and Honda Accord Hybrid, both at 85 percent.

They are followed by the Ford Fusion Energi, 84 percent; Toyota Prius, 82 percent; Lexus ES 300h Hybrid, 81 percent; and Toyota Avalon Hybrid, 80 percent.

Only 77 percent of Nissan Leaf owners would buy the all-electric car again, according to the Consumer Reports survey, published in the January 2015 issue.

The lowest percentage of drivers who would be repeat buyers own the Kia Optima Hybrid, at 56 percent.

The best three sedans are listed as the Tesla Model S (98), Mercedes-Benz E250 BlueTec (88) and a second diesel, the BMW 328d (86).

"Tesla Motors has built a rabid following since the car's 2012 launch, reflected in 98 percent of owners saying they would definitely purchase it again," the magazine reports.

"Not only is the Tesla roomy, comfortable and a lot of fun to drive, but it also has low operating costs -- returning the equivalent of 84 mpg."

Electric v. fuel cell

Some auto writers are so eager to knock the Model S off of its perch, they are comparing the four-door luxury hatchback to a plug-in hybrid sports car from BMW and the Toyota Mirai, a smaller fuel-cell sedan that won't be available in the U.S. until 2016.

Toyota will produce only 700 fuel-cell cars in the first year, so it is unlikely anyone who manages to buy one in the United States will pay anything close to the MSRP of $57,500.

Why did Times writer compare BMW's hybrid sports car to the roomy Tesla?

The roomy Tesla Model S, above, would seem to have little in common with the low-slung BMW i8, below, except that both have four wheels. The Tesla is an all-electric luxury car with ample room for four, and the i8 is a plug-in hybrid sports car for two that is difficult to get into and out of.

By VICTOR E. SASSON
EDITOR

Although hybrid and all-electric cars have been sold in the United States for 15 years, many automobile writers still don't feel all warm and fuzzy about them.

Can you blame them?

For years, writers for car magazines and newspapers have been obsessing over tire-burning acceleration, 0-60 times and how fast the model they are evaluating can lap a racetrack.

Impact on the environment? Who knew and who cared?

Many in the automotive media have been skeptical of green cars -- from the Toyota Prius gas-electric hybrid of a decade ago to the revolutionary all-electric Tesla Model S of today.

Times praises BMW i8

In October, The New York Times ran two stories evaluating the BMW i8, a new plug-in gas-electric hybrid that sounds and drives like a sports car.

With an MSRP of $137,500 -- nearly twice that of the Tesla Model S 60 four-door hatchback -- the i8 is high on excitement, low on practicality and is basically a green car that will keep you chained to the gasoline pump.

The low two-seater has scissor doors and a high sill, making it difficult to get into and a nightmare to exit, especially because it doesn't have a passenger-assist handle.

Not designed for women

No woman in a skirt could get out of the car and keep her dignity. In many ways, the i8 is a car designed by men exclusively for men.

Lawrence Ulrich, who reviewed the i8 for The Times' Automobiles section, mentioned the nightmarish ergonomics in passing, but didn't dwell on the car's many contradictions.

He noted the i8 is as "fast as a Corvette Stingray," and "opening the ... 'swan wing' doors brought gawkers running."

Ulrich can't help comparing the i8 -- favorably -- to Tesla's Model S in terms of acceleration, agility and range, noting the all-electric car can't "keep pace on a track or on twisty roads" with Porsches, Corvettes or BMW's own M3 and M4.

Of course, few cars of any kind can.

In an age of climate change, this speed-freak approach to automotive journalism, where every car is judged largely by its performance, seems juvenile.